LaveyJet

My long-passed grandmother's birthday is coming up, and for me it is a time to reminisce.

The walks we used to take, the long drives and special trips she would make to pick me up so I could spend weekends with her, and the advice she used to give!

Much was wasted because I was so young. If she were alive today and sharing her pearls of wisdom, I'd be a better man. Those gems were all good, but the one I remember most, the jewel in the crown of grandmotherly advice, came when I was only 12.

We were sitting in a park, watching children and their mothers enjoying a beautiful spring day. She told me that one day, I'd find a woman and start my own family. "And son," she said, "be sure you marry a woman with small hands."

"How come, Grandma?" I asked her.

And she answered, "Makes your pecker look bigger."

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"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein